A Blown Career Page 2
By Anthony Douglas Gere
I also would not be doing it because you just happen to just like me for
whatever reason, you universally have this or that, but only, and I mean only
because I am attracted to what you have shown to me, and that is that", that’s
what I would initial say. I say that because, "When I first realized I am who I am,
I immediately did things to secure me in gaining, what I knew I needed to have
later on in my life, to make me and whomever I am with, happy, and you right
now, have that visual image on what life could and would be like, with a man
like me." Now to give you, my readers, a little info on me, when everyone was
partying at 21 – 29, I was working on owning the place, they were spending
their money at. Why, because I realize that living in that moment of your life,
goes no where and could be very damaging to a person like me, though it can
be or is needed to get out of your system, if it is in your system. But what if it is
not in your system in the first place I ask you, my reader, then wouldn’t you
realize it is not needed to experience, because it is not a part of the long-term
goal or plan on how you wish to live your life and be remembered? As long as I
can selectively remember, I have fantasized about such a physical look in a
woman and being in a such a place and position to obtain it, rightfully. The skin
tone of her, her voice and how this specific woman would basically be,
naturally in my eyes, is all I have ever wanted and needed since realize what I
am attracted to. It goes from how I grew up, where I grew up and the examples
I was drawn to, that reflect many of the choices I have made in my life, wrong
or right. As it states in my biography, I never truly felt, I was the best looking
man in the world, and that is based on many things. My self esteem is great
and my ego deeply checked, so no, it has nothing to do with how I see me, it
has to do on how I thought the world seen me. The media that fed to me, "what
beauty is" as a youth, the majority of my close childhood friends turning out to
be male actors and models, and because I was always in the spotlight as a
child, and never really understood why everyone wanted to come hang out with
me, is just the start of what I could never really finish in explaining how I felt
about me, and this subject to me. I knew some of my popularity was because I
was this star athlete, had a car at 16, graduated at 16 ½, scholastically gifted,
was the most popular in school, articulate, funny and where I lived. I grew up in
the hills of Berkeley California, where we were only 1 of 5 black families that
grew up here, the 70’s. But I never knew why people liked me, and that played a
big part on me as my career started to happen. It never held me back, but was
always in the back of my mind, and I always wondered, why, like I do now, from
time to time, do I get so much dam attention.
Anyway, naturally, I am not a sexual person. I like sex in all, but for the most
part, could do with or without it. I say that also, for many reasons. You see
being so popular and going to private predominantly all-white schools from
birth and not only fitting in because of my families success, I belonged there,
excelled there and made it even more popular from my efforts and actions.
Now on top of all of that, the way I look at sexy women, is the way this certain
female, naturally looks. Everything from the mom, to the freak, supporter, wife
type, slut and more, all revolves around this image of a woman, that I see when
I naturally, look at her when I close my eyes. So even though I have been with
many women cosmetically, I always knew I would never be with them for the
long term because 1) my career came first 2) they are not what I fully and
deeply fantasize about 3) I never allowed myself to give what I know by
example, would be needed to make it work for them, myself and us, at that
time. So as far as the physicality of sex, it means nothing to me in speaking
about sex, I enjoy making love. Now some of you may wonder, what is the
difference, and I say to you this; a job and a career, and being rich and being
wealthy. Now when I say making love, I am talking in every aspect; mentally,
physically, educationally, thought, flesh, emotional and more. I am all about the
mutual mental connection to give and receive, which I often refer to as,
recycling.
By Anthony Douglas Gere
I also would not be doing it because you just happen to just like me for
whatever reason, you universally have this or that, but only, and I mean only
because I am attracted to what you have shown to me, and that is that", that’s
what I would initial say. I say that because, "When I first realized I am who I am,
I immediately did things to secure me in gaining, what I knew I needed to have
later on in my life, to make me and whomever I am with, happy, and you right
now, have that visual image on what life could and would be like, with a man
like me." Now to give you, my readers, a little info on me, when everyone was
partying at 21 – 29, I was working on owning the place, they were spending
their money at. Why, because I realize that living in that moment of your life,
goes no where and could be very damaging to a person like me, though it can
be or is needed to get out of your system, if it is in your system. But what if it is
not in your system in the first place I ask you, my reader, then wouldn’t you
realize it is not needed to experience, because it is not a part of the long-term
goal or plan on how you wish to live your life and be remembered? As long as I
can selectively remember, I have fantasized about such a physical look in a
woman and being in a such a place and position to obtain it, rightfully. The skin
tone of her, her voice and how this specific woman would basically be,
naturally in my eyes, is all I have ever wanted and needed since realize what I
am attracted to. It goes from how I grew up, where I grew up and the examples
I was drawn to, that reflect many of the choices I have made in my life, wrong
or right. As it states in my biography, I never truly felt, I was the best looking
man in the world, and that is based on many things. My self esteem is great
and my ego deeply checked, so no, it has nothing to do with how I see me, it
has to do on how I thought the world seen me. The media that fed to me, "what
beauty is" as a youth, the majority of my close childhood friends turning out to
be male actors and models, and because I was always in the spotlight as a
child, and never really understood why everyone wanted to come hang out with
me, is just the start of what I could never really finish in explaining how I felt
about me, and this subject to me. I knew some of my popularity was because I
was this star athlete, had a car at 16, graduated at 16 ½, scholastically gifted,
was the most popular in school, articulate, funny and where I lived. I grew up in
the hills of Berkeley California, where we were only 1 of 5 black families that
grew up here, the 70’s. But I never knew why people liked me, and that played a
big part on me as my career started to happen. It never held me back, but was
always in the back of my mind, and I always wondered, why, like I do now, from
time to time, do I get so much dam attention.
Anyway, naturally, I am not a sexual person. I like sex in all, but for the most
part, could do with or without it. I say that also, for many reasons. You see
being so popular and going to private predominantly all-white schools from
birth and not only fitting in because of my families success, I belonged there,
excelled there and made it even more popular from my efforts and actions.
Now on top of all of that, the way I look at sexy women, is the way this certain
female, naturally looks. Everything from the mom, to the freak, supporter, wife
type, slut and more, all revolves around this image of a woman, that I see when
I naturally, look at her when I close my eyes. So even though I have been with
many women cosmetically, I always knew I would never be with them for the
long term because 1) my career came first 2) they are not what I fully and
deeply fantasize about 3) I never allowed myself to give what I know by
example, would be needed to make it work for them, myself and us, at that
time. So as far as the physicality of sex, it means nothing to me in speaking
about sex, I enjoy making love. Now some of you may wonder, what is the
difference, and I say to you this; a job and a career, and being rich and being
wealthy. Now when I say making love, I am talking in every aspect; mentally,
physically, educationally, thought, flesh, emotional and more. I am all about the
mutual mental connection to give and receive, which I often refer to as,
recycling.
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