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By Anthony Douglas Gere

I love being retired now, but I miss how I got here.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t
miss it enough to go back and work, because I am too old and tired now (smile),
but I do appreciate the struggle now that I have made it through it, so to speak.  
That’s why I give back, donate my time, money and efforts towards things that don’
t expect anything from me.  I realize many that eat the food I give to charities and
soup kitchens don’t know it is me, but I am not doing it for them to know I did it.  I’
m doing it for society, to keep the wheels going and turning, in hopes that when I
am dead and gone, my efforts and contributions will live on for someone else to
do the same thing.  I’m not a nice guy because I do those sorts of things, I’m nice
anyway, if you let me tell it (smile).

Now think about if you had the power to hire and fire, what would be your reasons,
justifications and more for your actions.  Think about if you were the “be all to end
all”, how would you construct the world, situate it and what would be your rules
and regulations on how to live and survive in your manufactured space?  On the
surface, it would seem easy, until you start figuring out the responsibilities and
firm compromises you would have to make to make things work for you and
your civilization.  Once you understand the loneliness in being the leader of the
group, will you understand how alone that job can be, and how it can make you
into something you are not?  Being criticized, second guessed and being
compared to Dr. Frankenstein for wanting to build something in your image,
would only create other peers that are trying to improve, perfect and tink with
your version and vision of perfection.  I’ve always told people that when you are
young and people tell you that you can be anything you want to be and you are
this and that, is great.  But soon as you reach that level from the push and
motivation from those around you, they become as threatened as you are in
not living up to the position you now uphold.  I remember before Tupac died
and we were all at  Mosswood Park talking in Oakland, he told us in one of  
his sobering moments that, “Life as a celebrity aint everything they make it
out to be.  I have my views and speak on things, but I am now judged
because of what I believe in and say, so do I stick with that or change as it
changes me.  I don’t know if I was born for this or if this is something I have
just inherited”.  He felt as though his popularity had placed him under a
microscope, and now if he was angry or happy, many took it a lot farther than
what it really was.  I mean we all have bad days, have moments of clarity,
weakness and more, but is that what we fully represent?  At his funeral, all I
heard about from people that knew him after he became popular was, “We will
miss this great man, his voice and words spoke for many”.  I agree, I agree full
heartedly, he was a gifted individual, but so are the many before and after him
that didn’t have the spotlight or celebrity status.  Think about the child that never
made it, that died too early that could have been the person that had the cure
for cancer.  
Written By: Anthony Douglas Gere

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