Darkness by Candle Light; Part One
By ADGere
Before separating for reasons that I am sure will be displayed in another theory
sooner or later, someone far from me now but was once close said something
significant to me in a meaningless chat. They said or told me, “that when they are
not in contact with me for whatever reasons, they track my mood, status, mindset and
behavioral patterns through my writings”. I think that’s a cool way to stay connected
from a distance with someone if that’s what you are into, because it’s true that in
many of my essays, I display my inner self in my theories without knowing it. In many
ways I feel all of us also display these characteristics in some form or fashion if we
know it or not and basically tell on ourselves without saying a word. It can be in a
laugh, a smile, how we talk, walk or something not consciously thought out or
planned, and basically tells a story all to its self if you can read in between the lines.
So I agree with that assessment because if I am happy, sad, in deep thought about
anything from apples to xylophones, I do write up a storm and jot down my emotions
and feeling in a universal way via my words. Many do say that I wear my heart and
emotions on my sleeve, and those same people that have never seen me naked or
in a t-shirt should realize and be quick to tell you while understanding this
themselves, that I rarely roll my sleeves up for just anyone, unless its time to get
down and dirty. But yeah, I agree with that in some ways, but feel the most genuine
part of me can be discovered in my words that I faithfully put together in a
unconditional way. Now I also write in abundance from comments I get, questions I
can’t answer and solutions to situations that can be defined as logical non-sense.
Many times in trying to make my point, I come up with short or even long winded
theories of thought in some of my writings that have this delayed reaction once an
action takes place sometime down the road. I mean I know I don’t know everything,
but the things I do know, makes wanting to explore within those unknown journeys
spectacular to me, to say the least. Call it curiosity, call it adventure, but my quest for
knowledge is never ending sometimes, because I wish to seek what life has to offer,
not look for what just comes my way and settle or dwell inside of it. Right now I am
kind of mellow, feeling myself a bit too much in a non-physical way from my
productive day, and searching for the unknown in a place I can’t imagine. I’m also
listening to the Moodsetter Music Mix called, “Passionality” and the first track is the
one and only entertainer, Maxwell. This falsetto neo-soul singing lyricist is spilling
out his soul in one of those early evening highway groove songs you bob your head
up and down to, while also lip syncing the right and wrong words you skip and fit in
off key with your top down driving with no place in particular to go, be or arrive at. This
underground b-side non-radio released head-banging melody is called, “Never
wanting to want you more”, and it is truly hitting on all cylinders as I am warming up
to blow your fucking mind with this theory. If it ends up like that or not, is for you, not
for me to judge. I say that because I will try to lay it out in this one and my intentions
are genuine, and how you enjoy this, is how I hope you know I feel in writing it. What
he is saying in my opinion in the song is that he wants to need someone without
them needing to know he wants and needs them. He wants the relationship to be
second nature to him and part of his mental, emotional, spiritual and biological DNA
that can be passed on through a visual effort and some sort of passionate ESP to
his partner. A feeling so intense, that it breeds and multiplies from within and
overflows in a natural fashion, as his overall makeup on what he is all about and
represents as it boils inside of him wanting to get out. Where lust and love blends,
separates, combines and flows this lava like substances in the form of passion in its
deepest level of infinite moments that are frozen in millenniums on a daily basis. I
guess if you are a man, you are constantly erect and motivated to move every known
mountain unknown to mankind. You are driven to do so because as on many and
every level, you are allowed to yodel within the proverbial valley of a one less ribbed
being, once you acknowledge its existence, and that stimulates you. Now on the
other end of the gender spectrum and you’re a woman, you’re permanently wet, no
not just wet, strike that last statement, you’re soaked, soaked beyond imagination.
Okay, I know that was kind of graphic, but let me take it even further than that
because though it may seem a bit graphic, it’s not detailed enough. I don’t mean
soaked, I’m talking about being drenched! Yeah drench, that’s the word I was looking
for, drenched.
By ADGere
Before separating for reasons that I am sure will be displayed in another theory
sooner or later, someone far from me now but was once close said something
significant to me in a meaningless chat. They said or told me, “that when they are
not in contact with me for whatever reasons, they track my mood, status, mindset and
behavioral patterns through my writings”. I think that’s a cool way to stay connected
from a distance with someone if that’s what you are into, because it’s true that in
many of my essays, I display my inner self in my theories without knowing it. In many
ways I feel all of us also display these characteristics in some form or fashion if we
know it or not and basically tell on ourselves without saying a word. It can be in a
laugh, a smile, how we talk, walk or something not consciously thought out or
planned, and basically tells a story all to its self if you can read in between the lines.
So I agree with that assessment because if I am happy, sad, in deep thought about
anything from apples to xylophones, I do write up a storm and jot down my emotions
and feeling in a universal way via my words. Many do say that I wear my heart and
emotions on my sleeve, and those same people that have never seen me naked or
in a t-shirt should realize and be quick to tell you while understanding this
themselves, that I rarely roll my sleeves up for just anyone, unless its time to get
down and dirty. But yeah, I agree with that in some ways, but feel the most genuine
part of me can be discovered in my words that I faithfully put together in a
unconditional way. Now I also write in abundance from comments I get, questions I
can’t answer and solutions to situations that can be defined as logical non-sense.
Many times in trying to make my point, I come up with short or even long winded
theories of thought in some of my writings that have this delayed reaction once an
action takes place sometime down the road. I mean I know I don’t know everything,
but the things I do know, makes wanting to explore within those unknown journeys
spectacular to me, to say the least. Call it curiosity, call it adventure, but my quest for
knowledge is never ending sometimes, because I wish to seek what life has to offer,
not look for what just comes my way and settle or dwell inside of it. Right now I am
kind of mellow, feeling myself a bit too much in a non-physical way from my
productive day, and searching for the unknown in a place I can’t imagine. I’m also
listening to the Moodsetter Music Mix called, “Passionality” and the first track is the
one and only entertainer, Maxwell. This falsetto neo-soul singing lyricist is spilling
out his soul in one of those early evening highway groove songs you bob your head
up and down to, while also lip syncing the right and wrong words you skip and fit in
off key with your top down driving with no place in particular to go, be or arrive at. This
underground b-side non-radio released head-banging melody is called, “Never
wanting to want you more”, and it is truly hitting on all cylinders as I am warming up
to blow your fucking mind with this theory. If it ends up like that or not, is for you, not
for me to judge. I say that because I will try to lay it out in this one and my intentions
are genuine, and how you enjoy this, is how I hope you know I feel in writing it. What
he is saying in my opinion in the song is that he wants to need someone without
them needing to know he wants and needs them. He wants the relationship to be
second nature to him and part of his mental, emotional, spiritual and biological DNA
that can be passed on through a visual effort and some sort of passionate ESP to
his partner. A feeling so intense, that it breeds and multiplies from within and
overflows in a natural fashion, as his overall makeup on what he is all about and
represents as it boils inside of him wanting to get out. Where lust and love blends,
separates, combines and flows this lava like substances in the form of passion in its
deepest level of infinite moments that are frozen in millenniums on a daily basis. I
guess if you are a man, you are constantly erect and motivated to move every known
mountain unknown to mankind. You are driven to do so because as on many and
every level, you are allowed to yodel within the proverbial valley of a one less ribbed
being, once you acknowledge its existence, and that stimulates you. Now on the
other end of the gender spectrum and you’re a woman, you’re permanently wet, no
not just wet, strike that last statement, you’re soaked, soaked beyond imagination.
Okay, I know that was kind of graphic, but let me take it even further than that
because though it may seem a bit graphic, it’s not detailed enough. I don’t mean
soaked, I’m talking about being drenched! Yeah drench, that’s the word I was looking
for, drenched.
Butterflies And Bee-Stings Page 2
By Anthony Douglas Gere
Now I know one thing I might wanna know if I was reading this, and I would wanna
know, is if money in the formula? The answer, yes, but not the deciding factor is
what I would answer to you, whomever and myself. I would then wonder was this
a tantalizing thrill ride seeking seeker looking for a superficial rush on a
ridiculous self ramifacating ride to be or legitimize his title as a bad boy, naw, not
really, that’s not me. But I can tell you that what I did then, I wouldn’t do now but
don’t still don’t regret it then, and that also has many reasons I can write about
now. But the two main reasons were this; the girl I was messing around with
couldn’t get by on her half full ride scholarship for being a cheerleader at UC
Berkeley, and was having a hard time studying to get good grades while needing
to work a part time job to get a little bit further beyond her own expectations. We
were already friends with benefits, so by her getting married to me, she got free
medical, dental, got to shop at the PX and other little things that added up to a lot.
By me getting certain allowances and extra pay to live the married life, I had a few
more tools to build this life I was living, and could share it with the one that helped
me get it. I was on one end of California and she the other. We were in two hours
travel distance of each other, but not too close to just drop by and see each other
on a whim because we both had schedules that were demanding. Not a bad deal
if you are young, kinda like the person you are hooking up with at the time and
smart because you are now making ends meet, on many levels. Reason Two; this
is the dominating reason and deciding factor, because I wanted to live off post
and have a place to call my own. When I was in the military and you were single,
you just couldn’t live off post freely because one, you didn’t make that much extra
money and two, the chances of you getting in trouble were much higher when you
add it all up. Thus comes in that I have never been one to get into really big
trouble, and I have never really been a big party guy, drinker, drug user or shit
starter. So seeing how I thought I was grown when I was just a few years from
being able to vote, I tested the system. But I wanted a place of my own. You know
what I mean, I mean it was cool when I had a roommate in college and we partied,
had fun, people over and shared the microwave and stuff. But there comes a time
when and where you just want to have a place you can walk around the house
naked and call your own. Yeah I said it and yes, I mean naked, kinda. I don’t mean
naked all of the time, but whenever you might want to and don’t think about it.
Think about those times when you can’t sleep. Wanna snack, watch some
mindless television in the wee hours of the morning on the front room couch or
take an ole midnight stroll to take a leak. Its not that you wanna wave your Willie
Wonka around to all of the Peeping Toms in your neighborhood or complex. Or
flash your headlights to the kinda cute pervert that watches you when you pull up
to your home, but the freedom to roam within your own home at will without any
thought. Yeah, like that. Anyway, to put it all in a nutshell, that is why I got married
and that is my experience on the subject, first hand. Lets move on (smile).
So back to the question on why I think the divorce rate is so high. Well I can start
by pointing out the difference to me in many relationships if they happen or not,
are in ones perception on fantasy and reality with the person they decide to take
this plunge with. Though many times a fantasy can become a reality, to me, it is in
the choice you make to select which one you tackle first and how you handle it
and the next one, second. To me, when you mentally imagine your partner or
mate, you paint this portrait in your mind, even before you meet them. You argue
with them when you are with someone else, and love them unconditionally when
you are all alone. You create this invisible person, and then calmly start painting
the colors of their character to fit what you think your shade of the array of colors
is, in your own mind. You play with them seriously, and joking with the fact that
they may or may not exist. You then go about your day, mindlessly looking for
them in crowds of people that pass you daily. You look for signs, signals and or
drift towards areas unconsciencly, in hopes of discovering this person you have
created in your mind. You stand firm while sitting through date after date, meal
after meal, watching others doing the same thing in different ways and do your
best to re-construct one image into another. You become disappointed that where
you are not in life, is where you want to be. You think of your opinions, why you
have them, where you just left and if it was so bad to not feel so good.
By Anthony Douglas Gere
Now I know one thing I might wanna know if I was reading this, and I would wanna
know, is if money in the formula? The answer, yes, but not the deciding factor is
what I would answer to you, whomever and myself. I would then wonder was this
a tantalizing thrill ride seeking seeker looking for a superficial rush on a
ridiculous self ramifacating ride to be or legitimize his title as a bad boy, naw, not
really, that’s not me. But I can tell you that what I did then, I wouldn’t do now but
don’t still don’t regret it then, and that also has many reasons I can write about
now. But the two main reasons were this; the girl I was messing around with
couldn’t get by on her half full ride scholarship for being a cheerleader at UC
Berkeley, and was having a hard time studying to get good grades while needing
to work a part time job to get a little bit further beyond her own expectations. We
were already friends with benefits, so by her getting married to me, she got free
medical, dental, got to shop at the PX and other little things that added up to a lot.
By me getting certain allowances and extra pay to live the married life, I had a few
more tools to build this life I was living, and could share it with the one that helped
me get it. I was on one end of California and she the other. We were in two hours
travel distance of each other, but not too close to just drop by and see each other
on a whim because we both had schedules that were demanding. Not a bad deal
if you are young, kinda like the person you are hooking up with at the time and
smart because you are now making ends meet, on many levels. Reason Two; this
is the dominating reason and deciding factor, because I wanted to live off post
and have a place to call my own. When I was in the military and you were single,
you just couldn’t live off post freely because one, you didn’t make that much extra
money and two, the chances of you getting in trouble were much higher when you
add it all up. Thus comes in that I have never been one to get into really big
trouble, and I have never really been a big party guy, drinker, drug user or shit
starter. So seeing how I thought I was grown when I was just a few years from
being able to vote, I tested the system. But I wanted a place of my own. You know
what I mean, I mean it was cool when I had a roommate in college and we partied,
had fun, people over and shared the microwave and stuff. But there comes a time
when and where you just want to have a place you can walk around the house
naked and call your own. Yeah I said it and yes, I mean naked, kinda. I don’t mean
naked all of the time, but whenever you might want to and don’t think about it.
Think about those times when you can’t sleep. Wanna snack, watch some
mindless television in the wee hours of the morning on the front room couch or
take an ole midnight stroll to take a leak. Its not that you wanna wave your Willie
Wonka around to all of the Peeping Toms in your neighborhood or complex. Or
flash your headlights to the kinda cute pervert that watches you when you pull up
to your home, but the freedom to roam within your own home at will without any
thought. Yeah, like that. Anyway, to put it all in a nutshell, that is why I got married
and that is my experience on the subject, first hand. Lets move on (smile).
So back to the question on why I think the divorce rate is so high. Well I can start
by pointing out the difference to me in many relationships if they happen or not,
are in ones perception on fantasy and reality with the person they decide to take
this plunge with. Though many times a fantasy can become a reality, to me, it is in
the choice you make to select which one you tackle first and how you handle it
and the next one, second. To me, when you mentally imagine your partner or
mate, you paint this portrait in your mind, even before you meet them. You argue
with them when you are with someone else, and love them unconditionally when
you are all alone. You create this invisible person, and then calmly start painting
the colors of their character to fit what you think your shade of the array of colors
is, in your own mind. You play with them seriously, and joking with the fact that
they may or may not exist. You then go about your day, mindlessly looking for
them in crowds of people that pass you daily. You look for signs, signals and or
drift towards areas unconsciencly, in hopes of discovering this person you have
created in your mind. You stand firm while sitting through date after date, meal
after meal, watching others doing the same thing in different ways and do your
best to re-construct one image into another. You become disappointed that where
you are not in life, is where you want to be. You think of your opinions, why you
have them, where you just left and if it was so bad to not feel so good.
| CLICK ON PAINTING FOR LARGER VIEW |
