F-You !!! Page 2
By Anthony Douglas Gere
How many went to bed angry, planning on saying or doing something they didn’t do
the day before or not completing the smallest of task? My grandmother was the
exceptions, as I am sure many more fall into the category as she did. You see to
further explain to you, I had been gone for months away from my birth place, doing
this and that, trying to conquer the world and lift every skirt that the wind didn’t blow
up. It was only when I came back home on a fluke, and went up to see my
grandmother for one of my bonding visits, that life showed itself to me in its purest
form. I remember it vividly, I had just left the court room in San Francisco, gotten off of
BART at the MacArthur Station, called my sister, and asked if she would drive me up
in the hills to see my stabilizing rock. One of my favorite songs was playing on the
radio station KBLX, and though the forecast of weather the day before was rainy, and
the next was going to be just as bad, today and I am not kidding, was sunny and
calm. She had been sick, and my mother and sister were caring for her as best as
they could. She had been defying all odds, staying alive like John Travolta in the
movie, and puzzling doctors because she was suppose to be six feet under months
ago, not above ground still teaching her six foot five inch grandson how to learn
about life. You can’t measure the will of a person, nor can you judge the capability
or capacity of someone when they truly believe, that I know. You see I would call her
often even though I was many miles away, talk to her about life, and listen to the
wisdom this ninety year old woman of history would tell me. In my biography that is
soon to be released, I basically tell about the influence she had and still to this
day has on me, and how tears flow from my eyes for no apparent reasons
sometimes, or how I gain strength to work after being up for twenty or more
hours, because I feel her near me, guiding me through the jungle of life like
Crocodile Dundee. You see she constantly told me that to take on the
adventures I was planning in my young career, was a lot like rock climbing. She
would tell me that while leaning and looking over this cliff, I would have to carve
out a ledge and not only stand on it, but create it big enough for others to follow
and join me if I fall or climb. Like nothing else, I deeply love my grandmother,
and there is no better feeling than this love. I know that to this day one reason I
have never been married is because my grandmother wouldn’t approve of the
women I was with. It wasn’t that she was hard or had high standards or the
women were bad, it was that she knows me, and knew the woman I needed in
my life, was not the ones I wanted to play around with. I wasn’t a
disappointment to her by any stretch, but she knew I didn’t appreciate life the
way it was meant to be lived, and it was going to take something drastic to
teach me this lesson. She was and had been hanging on to see me, talk to
me and allow me to witness something I never thought possible, losing her,
to gain more of myself. She knew leaving this earth with me gone while still
roaming it, would defeat the purpose, her purpose for living, and selfishly, my
spoiled ass was keeping her alive and didn’t even know it until this day.
Now back when I was full of vigor, strong, ignorant and blessed with an
absence to tackle on people I had no idea could crush me with a sneeze, I
have always wondered, how I was doing this. Where this force of power was
coming from, and while going through this, not realizing I was thinking and
having this inside of me. I will admit that coming from the environment I was
raised in, the examples, scenery and more helped, but it was all normal to us,
and we were all doing what we only knew from within, and our surroundings.
You know that saying everyone says, “You can do anything if you put your mind
to it”, well for some strange reason, me and my friends and peers, believed it.
You see we all make choices, deal with the consequences of ours and others
actions, and justify why things happen when they do or don’t. That’s life, and
there is a difference between living it and surviving.
By Anthony Douglas Gere
How many went to bed angry, planning on saying or doing something they didn’t do
the day before or not completing the smallest of task? My grandmother was the
exceptions, as I am sure many more fall into the category as she did. You see to
further explain to you, I had been gone for months away from my birth place, doing
this and that, trying to conquer the world and lift every skirt that the wind didn’t blow
up. It was only when I came back home on a fluke, and went up to see my
grandmother for one of my bonding visits, that life showed itself to me in its purest
form. I remember it vividly, I had just left the court room in San Francisco, gotten off of
BART at the MacArthur Station, called my sister, and asked if she would drive me up
in the hills to see my stabilizing rock. One of my favorite songs was playing on the
radio station KBLX, and though the forecast of weather the day before was rainy, and
the next was going to be just as bad, today and I am not kidding, was sunny and
calm. She had been sick, and my mother and sister were caring for her as best as
they could. She had been defying all odds, staying alive like John Travolta in the
movie, and puzzling doctors because she was suppose to be six feet under months
ago, not above ground still teaching her six foot five inch grandson how to learn
about life. You can’t measure the will of a person, nor can you judge the capability
or capacity of someone when they truly believe, that I know. You see I would call her
often even though I was many miles away, talk to her about life, and listen to the
wisdom this ninety year old woman of history would tell me. In my biography that is
soon to be released, I basically tell about the influence she had and still to this
day has on me, and how tears flow from my eyes for no apparent reasons
sometimes, or how I gain strength to work after being up for twenty or more
hours, because I feel her near me, guiding me through the jungle of life like
Crocodile Dundee. You see she constantly told me that to take on the
adventures I was planning in my young career, was a lot like rock climbing. She
would tell me that while leaning and looking over this cliff, I would have to carve
out a ledge and not only stand on it, but create it big enough for others to follow
and join me if I fall or climb. Like nothing else, I deeply love my grandmother,
and there is no better feeling than this love. I know that to this day one reason I
have never been married is because my grandmother wouldn’t approve of the
women I was with. It wasn’t that she was hard or had high standards or the
women were bad, it was that she knows me, and knew the woman I needed in
my life, was not the ones I wanted to play around with. I wasn’t a
disappointment to her by any stretch, but she knew I didn’t appreciate life the
way it was meant to be lived, and it was going to take something drastic to
teach me this lesson. She was and had been hanging on to see me, talk to
me and allow me to witness something I never thought possible, losing her,
to gain more of myself. She knew leaving this earth with me gone while still
roaming it, would defeat the purpose, her purpose for living, and selfishly, my
spoiled ass was keeping her alive and didn’t even know it until this day.
Now back when I was full of vigor, strong, ignorant and blessed with an
absence to tackle on people I had no idea could crush me with a sneeze, I
have always wondered, how I was doing this. Where this force of power was
coming from, and while going through this, not realizing I was thinking and
having this inside of me. I will admit that coming from the environment I was
raised in, the examples, scenery and more helped, but it was all normal to us,
and we were all doing what we only knew from within, and our surroundings.
You know that saying everyone says, “You can do anything if you put your mind
to it”, well for some strange reason, me and my friends and peers, believed it.
You see we all make choices, deal with the consequences of ours and others
actions, and justify why things happen when they do or don’t. That’s life, and
there is a difference between living it and surviving.
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