I.E..... Shush Page 1
By Anthony Douglas Gere
Recently I had the pleasure of encountering a gathering of gossiping gals, speaking
about the other gender, in a not so tender way. I had just came back home early
from a business trip, and had forgotten that my sister was using my house for one of
her famous, " Girls Night Out". I guess everyone has these, I mean friends getting
together and basically laying it all out there to vent, gain and share knowledge. A
evening to just simply be yourself for a few hours with out a care in the world, with
people you can trust and believe in to be themselves. I have days or nights like this
with my boys, and if you don't with your friends, I highly advise it. Its stimulating, fun
and very therapeutic. Its the males version of giving birth to me, and a way to self
evaluate yourself from the outside in while speaking out about things internally.
Anyway, as I walked in my doorway, or should I say accidentally barged in on this
converted Hen House through the front door of my house, I got the look of Medusa
from women making me feel like I'm not even welcomed in my own home. I quickly
gained my senses, and placed my hands on my head, looked down and then up,
mumbled and humbly said, " Oops, My bad, I honestly forgot you guys were coming
over tonight". Well as you can probably guess, I'm pretty much fucked right now. I
have two choices, and both of them are not in my favor, so I'm basically picking my
poison. As I stood there frozen, one of my sisters friends looked over her shoulder
and said, " Well Mr. I'm In The Wrong Spot, since you messed up our female vibe and
mode, you might as well fix us something to eat an drink since you're up. And while
you're doing that, do whatever else you were going to do somewhere else, because
this ain't your house right now, its ours and you're a visitor". Okay pause for a
minute and hear me out. I know this woman and have known her for a while, but I
don't know anyone that well, to tell me what to do in my own house. I'm pretty much
wanting to put my size 13 loafer somewhere the sun don't shine if you know what I
mean, but then I quickly visualized 10 women, whipping my ass in my own living
room, and repented that very thought. So yes, I did what any man would have done
in this position and situation. I did the only thing any man in his right mind would do
in his own house. I stood straight up, calmly put my bag down, took off my coat and
tie, and asked each one, what would they like to eat and drink, and don't mind me,
I'll be out of the way as soon as I can remember where the kitchen is.
So now here I am, playing Mr. Mom in my own house, to visitors that were acting
like it was theirs. So while looking for an apron to put on, I'm making drinks like a
bartender at a half empty club on a Tuesdays night. But in the process of doing
this, I'm overhearing the married women, talking to the single ones about
relationships and the opposite sex, I.E....., me. Now just to clear things up, I'm
definitely no where near a professional drink mixer, because I drink Johnnie
Walker Blue Label straight, with no ice or chaser. So if you can imagine, there's a
good chance, some of these women won't be driving home tonight if they have
one of my Rum and Cokes and get me defending and started on the male bashing
thing. Seriously, what I was hearing, was interesting, and beyond educational.
This was the inside scoop if you're a man, and a rare chance to hear views from
the other side, unconditionally. This was that stuff we think we know, but way off
base because simply, we're men. They were saying what they like, how they like
it and why. How they guided men to do what they want. Guide, not manipulate, but
assist or guide to make things work for the both of them. I was now paying more
attention to the words being said by each female, and couldn't swear or remember
how much Rum I was actually pouring in these drinks I was somewhat mixing.
They were basically saying the same things we men do, but in a different way. It
was a trip. I mean imagine a kid wanting Top Ramen and Ketchup, and you the adult,
Pasta and Marinara Sauce. I was doing my best not to ease drop on their
conversation because I was taught to do that, was simply rude. So I basically stop
trying to ease drop and did, and blended in the background, and pretended I was
back in college taking notes in class. But this was better than class, because there
were many teachers, teaching the same lessons differently in the same classroom.
This was it. I hit the motherlode and knew it. So yes, I'm serving drinks and eats,
and eating up all I can like a starving wolf from these Hens because hey, I like
chicken.
By Anthony Douglas Gere
Recently I had the pleasure of encountering a gathering of gossiping gals, speaking
about the other gender, in a not so tender way. I had just came back home early
from a business trip, and had forgotten that my sister was using my house for one of
her famous, " Girls Night Out". I guess everyone has these, I mean friends getting
together and basically laying it all out there to vent, gain and share knowledge. A
evening to just simply be yourself for a few hours with out a care in the world, with
people you can trust and believe in to be themselves. I have days or nights like this
with my boys, and if you don't with your friends, I highly advise it. Its stimulating, fun
and very therapeutic. Its the males version of giving birth to me, and a way to self
evaluate yourself from the outside in while speaking out about things internally.
Anyway, as I walked in my doorway, or should I say accidentally barged in on this
converted Hen House through the front door of my house, I got the look of Medusa
from women making me feel like I'm not even welcomed in my own home. I quickly
gained my senses, and placed my hands on my head, looked down and then up,
mumbled and humbly said, " Oops, My bad, I honestly forgot you guys were coming
over tonight". Well as you can probably guess, I'm pretty much fucked right now. I
have two choices, and both of them are not in my favor, so I'm basically picking my
poison. As I stood there frozen, one of my sisters friends looked over her shoulder
and said, " Well Mr. I'm In The Wrong Spot, since you messed up our female vibe and
mode, you might as well fix us something to eat an drink since you're up. And while
you're doing that, do whatever else you were going to do somewhere else, because
this ain't your house right now, its ours and you're a visitor". Okay pause for a
minute and hear me out. I know this woman and have known her for a while, but I
don't know anyone that well, to tell me what to do in my own house. I'm pretty much
wanting to put my size 13 loafer somewhere the sun don't shine if you know what I
mean, but then I quickly visualized 10 women, whipping my ass in my own living
room, and repented that very thought. So yes, I did what any man would have done
in this position and situation. I did the only thing any man in his right mind would do
in his own house. I stood straight up, calmly put my bag down, took off my coat and
tie, and asked each one, what would they like to eat and drink, and don't mind me,
I'll be out of the way as soon as I can remember where the kitchen is.
So now here I am, playing Mr. Mom in my own house, to visitors that were acting
like it was theirs. So while looking for an apron to put on, I'm making drinks like a
bartender at a half empty club on a Tuesdays night. But in the process of doing
this, I'm overhearing the married women, talking to the single ones about
relationships and the opposite sex, I.E....., me. Now just to clear things up, I'm
definitely no where near a professional drink mixer, because I drink Johnnie
Walker Blue Label straight, with no ice or chaser. So if you can imagine, there's a
good chance, some of these women won't be driving home tonight if they have
one of my Rum and Cokes and get me defending and started on the male bashing
thing. Seriously, what I was hearing, was interesting, and beyond educational.
This was the inside scoop if you're a man, and a rare chance to hear views from
the other side, unconditionally. This was that stuff we think we know, but way off
base because simply, we're men. They were saying what they like, how they like
it and why. How they guided men to do what they want. Guide, not manipulate, but
assist or guide to make things work for the both of them. I was now paying more
attention to the words being said by each female, and couldn't swear or remember
how much Rum I was actually pouring in these drinks I was somewhat mixing.
They were basically saying the same things we men do, but in a different way. It
was a trip. I mean imagine a kid wanting Top Ramen and Ketchup, and you the adult,
Pasta and Marinara Sauce. I was doing my best not to ease drop on their
conversation because I was taught to do that, was simply rude. So I basically stop
trying to ease drop and did, and blended in the background, and pretended I was
back in college taking notes in class. But this was better than class, because there
were many teachers, teaching the same lessons differently in the same classroom.
This was it. I hit the motherlode and knew it. So yes, I'm serving drinks and eats,
and eating up all I can like a starving wolf from these Hens because hey, I like
chicken.