Long Train Runnin'
By Anthony Douglas Gere
Someone once told me, "Trying to forget someone you love or loved, is like
trying to remember someone you have never met". Man, if never before, that
quote came into mind the other day, when I heard from a woman I seriously,
was crazy about, a couple decades in the rear view mirror. This was a trip,
some back to the future type shit, because as proud and happy as I am right
now in my life, to just hear a voice from someone that could have been "The
One" back in the day in this present time, can really rattle a persons cage, and
have them doin’ The Hot Dog Dance like Goofy on the Mickey Mouse Show. Talk
about having a blast from the past, this was a nuclear holocaust because this
particular woman I am talking about, I was ridiculously silly about when I was
younger, and was doing shit that I can not even defend right now. Now how she
got my number is story in its self, but after she said she seen me the day
before, she contacted me and wanted to catch up on old times to see I am
assuming, if there we new ones in the horizon. Now you can call it a school boy
crush or deep infatuation in what I was going through back then, but I really had
something secretly special for this woman, and I cant tell you why or what
caused it. How bad you may wonder, well I almost didn’t go back to college for
the hope of getting with this woman when I came home one summer to see my
family, and she didn’t even know I felt like this for her, back then, until now
while we were talking. I mean yeah, she knew I liked her or was attracted to
her, but she was with someone else, and if you had 20/20 vision and looking
into a dark closet with your eyes closed wearing a blindfold, you could see and
knew where this guy was headed in his future by his efforts, actions and more
along those same lines. And one thing about me that you may not know, is that I
am very respectful to others when they are in a relationship, and will and do not
cross that line, no matter how many invites I may get or think I deserve. But to
me, this guy was not into her like she was into him. It’s not a knock or anything
against him or her, but some things are what they are, and there is no
mistaking the truth, it can’t be negotiated or changed, when you can clearly
see, what is in front of you. But anyway, after talking with her on the phone the
other day, hearing her story on her life and choices up until this present
moment, I found myself trying to find a common denominator or rhythm in this
verbal dance. But as soon as I thought I was on beat with her on one topic,
things would switch up and I would step on her feet or she would introduce a
dip when I thought we should be spinning, because we were obviously, dancing
to different drummers. Things were a struggle in our communication even
though on the surface it was smooth and light hearted, but what I was looking
for in the conversation and what she wanted to listen to, was totally out of
sync. Its like either I am tone deaf, or was doing The Humpty Dance to The
Waltz when she was doing The Pee Wee Herman Dance to Mozart. Now hear
me on this, its not that my dance or opinion is or was good or bad or hers the
same, but what was obvious is that the person I was looking at, didn’t see me
for who I am now and was then which is why in my opinion, our lives went two
different directions for many different reasons. Honestly, when I spoke with her
and I swear to God, I would have given her half of everything I am worth now, if
she showed me half of an effort, and to tell you the truth, I don’t know why once
again. Maybe it is because of the feeling I can recall feeling when I seen her in
my mind, but then again, I am smart enough now to know, how young and dumb
I was back then. But in her years apart from me, she told me that she had been
finding herself she said, and in the process in my opinion, was not looking at
the person that needs to be seen, her. I think we all are guilty of that in one way
or another, and are our worse enemies in a fight with ourselves. Now this is my
opinion, because after hearing her out, for a few minutes I realized that I was
reflecting on who I used to be when I was talking, and how I seen her now, in
this present time, while listening to her history that threw me for one or two
loops in this direct dialogue. But she has changed, I have changed, though, our
affiliation seemed to be, the same, which is what spawned this new theory I am
calling, Long Train Runnin’.
By Anthony Douglas Gere
Someone once told me, "Trying to forget someone you love or loved, is like
trying to remember someone you have never met". Man, if never before, that
quote came into mind the other day, when I heard from a woman I seriously,
was crazy about, a couple decades in the rear view mirror. This was a trip,
some back to the future type shit, because as proud and happy as I am right
now in my life, to just hear a voice from someone that could have been "The
One" back in the day in this present time, can really rattle a persons cage, and
have them doin’ The Hot Dog Dance like Goofy on the Mickey Mouse Show. Talk
about having a blast from the past, this was a nuclear holocaust because this
particular woman I am talking about, I was ridiculously silly about when I was
younger, and was doing shit that I can not even defend right now. Now how she
got my number is story in its self, but after she said she seen me the day
before, she contacted me and wanted to catch up on old times to see I am
assuming, if there we new ones in the horizon. Now you can call it a school boy
crush or deep infatuation in what I was going through back then, but I really had
something secretly special for this woman, and I cant tell you why or what
caused it. How bad you may wonder, well I almost didn’t go back to college for
the hope of getting with this woman when I came home one summer to see my
family, and she didn’t even know I felt like this for her, back then, until now
while we were talking. I mean yeah, she knew I liked her or was attracted to
her, but she was with someone else, and if you had 20/20 vision and looking
into a dark closet with your eyes closed wearing a blindfold, you could see and
knew where this guy was headed in his future by his efforts, actions and more
along those same lines. And one thing about me that you may not know, is that I
am very respectful to others when they are in a relationship, and will and do not
cross that line, no matter how many invites I may get or think I deserve. But to
me, this guy was not into her like she was into him. It’s not a knock or anything
against him or her, but some things are what they are, and there is no
mistaking the truth, it can’t be negotiated or changed, when you can clearly
see, what is in front of you. But anyway, after talking with her on the phone the
other day, hearing her story on her life and choices up until this present
moment, I found myself trying to find a common denominator or rhythm in this
verbal dance. But as soon as I thought I was on beat with her on one topic,
things would switch up and I would step on her feet or she would introduce a
dip when I thought we should be spinning, because we were obviously, dancing
to different drummers. Things were a struggle in our communication even
though on the surface it was smooth and light hearted, but what I was looking
for in the conversation and what she wanted to listen to, was totally out of
sync. Its like either I am tone deaf, or was doing The Humpty Dance to The
Waltz when she was doing The Pee Wee Herman Dance to Mozart. Now hear
me on this, its not that my dance or opinion is or was good or bad or hers the
same, but what was obvious is that the person I was looking at, didn’t see me
for who I am now and was then which is why in my opinion, our lives went two
different directions for many different reasons. Honestly, when I spoke with her
and I swear to God, I would have given her half of everything I am worth now, if
she showed me half of an effort, and to tell you the truth, I don’t know why once
again. Maybe it is because of the feeling I can recall feeling when I seen her in
my mind, but then again, I am smart enough now to know, how young and dumb
I was back then. But in her years apart from me, she told me that she had been
finding herself she said, and in the process in my opinion, was not looking at
the person that needs to be seen, her. I think we all are guilty of that in one way
or another, and are our worse enemies in a fight with ourselves. Now this is my
opinion, because after hearing her out, for a few minutes I realized that I was
reflecting on who I used to be when I was talking, and how I seen her now, in
this present time, while listening to her history that threw me for one or two
loops in this direct dialogue. But she has changed, I have changed, though, our
affiliation seemed to be, the same, which is what spawned this new theory I am
calling, Long Train Runnin’.
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