My First Real Holiday Season Page 2
By Anthony Douglas Gere
After we left the Shelter for the homeless, we also went to the hospital, and we
were not ill, just sick of those that are and can not be cured, like all of us. We
went there with bags of gifts for the patients inside of there this Xmas, as I
seen parents watching their gift from God, fade away with illnesses I can not
even pronounce. They looked at me and CJ like the illness they had, as they
didn’t and don’t know me or about me, like their illness or why it came to them
on this day and this Holiday Season. They looked at us this way and thanked
the very God that is calling for them to come home, as we walked away to more
than likely, never been seen again by these people, that look, just like me. But I
will always remember a question that was posed to me when I was young, that
still keep changing with different answers every moment I question or think
about what it means to me at that moment. The question, or statement direct
towards me one day by a man that was standing in line behind me in the store
about 17 years ago in SOHO was; "Who is more stronger, a strong person that
doesn’t know his or her weaknesses, or a weak person that understands what
their strengths are?" How I took that question was simply complex. You see to
me and the examples that were shown to me and the ones I was blessed to
select to follow, a person needs, not just wants to, but needs to capture the
very essence that is motivating them. But it goes beyond just being in control,
is goes to the point and beyond where you are in control of and on being out of
control. You understand things you can not comprehend, and that belief is
based on your examples, beliefs, and knowledge of self and faith. I remember
when I felt I was ready to settle down with one woman, and was still drawn to
the very things that were contradicting my thoughts. It wasn’t until I understood
my weaknesses that I became naturally strong in my humble opinion, in
allowing myself to mature into the man I am now. There are no regrets or
praises, though there have been civil wars, image damaging things and more,
that came and went in my journey. So how someone else judges you like the
many that we are feeding at the shelter, is irrelevant to me. It is knowing you
that I think is important, your capabilities and accepting your faith as you
continue to try and find out what it is. But like I said, that also changes in each
moment, the answer that is, and it is all about controlling and respecting that
devil and angel inside of me, that I think is important and so vital to ones
development. But back to answering the man that said that I looked like I was
successful in chasing that "Paper", I told him this; Money and power, fame and
flash, is not me, no where near it. But I knew I could not be where I was and am
right now, if I was just doing any ole thing back then, so I stayed single and just
fooled around in relationships that were comfortable, convenient and more on
a cosmetic level. I didn’t allow myself to get hurt or involved with anything that I
felt could harm or hurt me, because I understood who the people were, that I
was involving myself with. I knew why they were there, which made them being
there, not a threat to what I was trying to accomplish. It wasn’t until the last 6
months, that I am now in a position to give and not selfishly take. And I am not
talking about money, I am talking about me, the person. So yeah, we all
struggle, but God will never allow us to suffer, that is by our own choice and
accord. So maybe instead of looking at what or where you were that got you to
this point, view it as a blessing to be able to now know the difference so you
can now get out and only return if you select to. That also made me change my
mind on the answer at the moment, to the question this stranger said to me, 17
years ago while standing in line.
In reading many of my emails, I have heard many saying that they want to get in
better shape this New and up and coming Year. I have read many resolutions,
and wrote down a few of my own. Many say they want to start a diet or stop
doing something like drinking or smoking, to improve their lives and the quality
in living it. I commend them and all of you that have that same claim, and wish
you the best in achieving it. But why stop at getting in better physical shape?
Why stop there and maybe go a bit further and firm or tighten up your mental
and emotionally stature.
By Anthony Douglas Gere
After we left the Shelter for the homeless, we also went to the hospital, and we
were not ill, just sick of those that are and can not be cured, like all of us. We
went there with bags of gifts for the patients inside of there this Xmas, as I
seen parents watching their gift from God, fade away with illnesses I can not
even pronounce. They looked at me and CJ like the illness they had, as they
didn’t and don’t know me or about me, like their illness or why it came to them
on this day and this Holiday Season. They looked at us this way and thanked
the very God that is calling for them to come home, as we walked away to more
than likely, never been seen again by these people, that look, just like me. But I
will always remember a question that was posed to me when I was young, that
still keep changing with different answers every moment I question or think
about what it means to me at that moment. The question, or statement direct
towards me one day by a man that was standing in line behind me in the store
about 17 years ago in SOHO was; "Who is more stronger, a strong person that
doesn’t know his or her weaknesses, or a weak person that understands what
their strengths are?" How I took that question was simply complex. You see to
me and the examples that were shown to me and the ones I was blessed to
select to follow, a person needs, not just wants to, but needs to capture the
very essence that is motivating them. But it goes beyond just being in control,
is goes to the point and beyond where you are in control of and on being out of
control. You understand things you can not comprehend, and that belief is
based on your examples, beliefs, and knowledge of self and faith. I remember
when I felt I was ready to settle down with one woman, and was still drawn to
the very things that were contradicting my thoughts. It wasn’t until I understood
my weaknesses that I became naturally strong in my humble opinion, in
allowing myself to mature into the man I am now. There are no regrets or
praises, though there have been civil wars, image damaging things and more,
that came and went in my journey. So how someone else judges you like the
many that we are feeding at the shelter, is irrelevant to me. It is knowing you
that I think is important, your capabilities and accepting your faith as you
continue to try and find out what it is. But like I said, that also changes in each
moment, the answer that is, and it is all about controlling and respecting that
devil and angel inside of me, that I think is important and so vital to ones
development. But back to answering the man that said that I looked like I was
successful in chasing that "Paper", I told him this; Money and power, fame and
flash, is not me, no where near it. But I knew I could not be where I was and am
right now, if I was just doing any ole thing back then, so I stayed single and just
fooled around in relationships that were comfortable, convenient and more on
a cosmetic level. I didn’t allow myself to get hurt or involved with anything that I
felt could harm or hurt me, because I understood who the people were, that I
was involving myself with. I knew why they were there, which made them being
there, not a threat to what I was trying to accomplish. It wasn’t until the last 6
months, that I am now in a position to give and not selfishly take. And I am not
talking about money, I am talking about me, the person. So yeah, we all
struggle, but God will never allow us to suffer, that is by our own choice and
accord. So maybe instead of looking at what or where you were that got you to
this point, view it as a blessing to be able to now know the difference so you
can now get out and only return if you select to. That also made me change my
mind on the answer at the moment, to the question this stranger said to me, 17
years ago while standing in line.
In reading many of my emails, I have heard many saying that they want to get in
better shape this New and up and coming Year. I have read many resolutions,
and wrote down a few of my own. Many say they want to start a diet or stop
doing something like drinking or smoking, to improve their lives and the quality
in living it. I commend them and all of you that have that same claim, and wish
you the best in achieving it. But why stop at getting in better physical shape?
Why stop there and maybe go a bit further and firm or tighten up your mental
and emotionally stature.
