Not With Your Eyes Page 2
By ADGere
A while back, I was in conversation with a woman that found me attractive and
was drawn to me in ways I don’t really I think I understood at the time when this
was being presented to me. We would talk, interact electronically and create
situations that could of honestly lead me to think that I could be happy with her in
ways I don’t think I was ready for. She said to me, “AD, if you actually found a
woman that accepted you for all that you have, could you do the same and grow
with her in ways not dictated by you”. I answered that question with yes so fast,
that I am not sure she even got a chance to fully pronounce the last syllable. You
see at the time, I felt I was the complete package. Young, rich, successful, not
that bad looking, knew which fork to use at the dinner table. Had the toys, the
homes, freedom to do what I wish and more, and could not understand why a
woman wouldn’t think I was a great catch. But now in reflecting yet once again, I
now see what she was referring to and asking me, because I was fully so into
myself, that I was shitting out ADGere logs when I went to the bathroom. You see I
am and was so guarded and insulated by so many things, situations and people
pulling at me in ways I didn’t even understand, that I was not even me most of the
time, but someone that had been built up to reflect or repel anything that was not
in my path or direction of cosmetic success. Let me further this journey by taking
this theory of emotion to the physical aspect, to help you understand how far off
course I was, in traveling down the yellow marble road. Imagine you are with
some one physically, or simply, about to enter into this kingdom for lovers. You
two have been talking, bonding and speaking in ways that makes you think that
this may be something you are willing to invest time in. He has a good job, she
has a good job, you both have been heart broken in the past and seeking out love
in the future and now in the midst of re-discovering the passion you have always
wanted, and it is right there in the present in front of you. You are freezing
moments, laughing, having that civil war within yourself and slowly tearing down
that wall that many in the past have helped you place bricks in. You are feeling
this person, I mean really feeling the way they are touching you and you have
allowed yourself to let them violate you in ways that have you stimulated mentally,
physically, emotionally and more. You enter into the bedroom, slowly throw
caution to the wind, remove your coat of armor and allow yourself to become
what you have been when you are all alone pleasing and pleasuring yourself.
They kiss you, start to rub your body all over, sucking, nibbling and now feeling all
over and inside of you to see if what they are now physically doing to you is
working, and how well. You are in the moment, they have earned this right and
you now are giving them the direction to your lustful body to fulfill your loving
heart. Now you two have been talking about everything from the weather to
current events and you feel as though you know this person. You feel you two are
on the same level, and they know you based on the time and interaction as much
as they could, and you with them the same. You have even talked or spoke about
being sexual before now, not really intimate because you are somewhat still
guarded, but sexual with each other beyond ways you know you need and want to
be. You have hinted at what you want to do, like to be done to you and more, and
the hormones and wants have taken this scenario to a height that brings upon a
nose bleed. Even when you were on the phone and they were at their house
talking to you, you were masturbating, playing with yourself and imaging that you
were them and your fingers and hands was there’s while you started to pant,
moan and dream of ecstasy. But you haven’t really told them anything but what’s
on the surface, and now you have this need in the heat of battle to go deeper. You
never told them that when you enjoy being kissed, you do so in a certain way. You
never told them that when you say a certain word a certain way, which means
that you want certain things to be done to you and vise versa a certain way. You
are entering into a battle without a sword now, and you are gambling on a victory
and now hoping for a win, instead of guarantying not a loss and a good fight,
based on your preparation. Any battle tested General knows that all battles and
wars are won before the fight, but you haven’t made it that far up the chain of
command, and you are still a Corporal, trying to lead this troop into foreign and
sacred land on the day of battle. You see what I am saying is that if I am on the
phone with someone and the conversation has gone to a sexual place and they
are in the mood and telling me about it, I want and need to know everything. I
wasn’t like that before because in some many ways, what they thought didn’t
matter; I was doing them a favor. That’s the lesson I learned and trying to convey
to you today.
By ADGere
A while back, I was in conversation with a woman that found me attractive and
was drawn to me in ways I don’t really I think I understood at the time when this
was being presented to me. We would talk, interact electronically and create
situations that could of honestly lead me to think that I could be happy with her in
ways I don’t think I was ready for. She said to me, “AD, if you actually found a
woman that accepted you for all that you have, could you do the same and grow
with her in ways not dictated by you”. I answered that question with yes so fast,
that I am not sure she even got a chance to fully pronounce the last syllable. You
see at the time, I felt I was the complete package. Young, rich, successful, not
that bad looking, knew which fork to use at the dinner table. Had the toys, the
homes, freedom to do what I wish and more, and could not understand why a
woman wouldn’t think I was a great catch. But now in reflecting yet once again, I
now see what she was referring to and asking me, because I was fully so into
myself, that I was shitting out ADGere logs when I went to the bathroom. You see I
am and was so guarded and insulated by so many things, situations and people
pulling at me in ways I didn’t even understand, that I was not even me most of the
time, but someone that had been built up to reflect or repel anything that was not
in my path or direction of cosmetic success. Let me further this journey by taking
this theory of emotion to the physical aspect, to help you understand how far off
course I was, in traveling down the yellow marble road. Imagine you are with
some one physically, or simply, about to enter into this kingdom for lovers. You
two have been talking, bonding and speaking in ways that makes you think that
this may be something you are willing to invest time in. He has a good job, she
has a good job, you both have been heart broken in the past and seeking out love
in the future and now in the midst of re-discovering the passion you have always
wanted, and it is right there in the present in front of you. You are freezing
moments, laughing, having that civil war within yourself and slowly tearing down
that wall that many in the past have helped you place bricks in. You are feeling
this person, I mean really feeling the way they are touching you and you have
allowed yourself to let them violate you in ways that have you stimulated mentally,
physically, emotionally and more. You enter into the bedroom, slowly throw
caution to the wind, remove your coat of armor and allow yourself to become
what you have been when you are all alone pleasing and pleasuring yourself.
They kiss you, start to rub your body all over, sucking, nibbling and now feeling all
over and inside of you to see if what they are now physically doing to you is
working, and how well. You are in the moment, they have earned this right and
you now are giving them the direction to your lustful body to fulfill your loving
heart. Now you two have been talking about everything from the weather to
current events and you feel as though you know this person. You feel you two are
on the same level, and they know you based on the time and interaction as much
as they could, and you with them the same. You have even talked or spoke about
being sexual before now, not really intimate because you are somewhat still
guarded, but sexual with each other beyond ways you know you need and want to
be. You have hinted at what you want to do, like to be done to you and more, and
the hormones and wants have taken this scenario to a height that brings upon a
nose bleed. Even when you were on the phone and they were at their house
talking to you, you were masturbating, playing with yourself and imaging that you
were them and your fingers and hands was there’s while you started to pant,
moan and dream of ecstasy. But you haven’t really told them anything but what’s
on the surface, and now you have this need in the heat of battle to go deeper. You
never told them that when you enjoy being kissed, you do so in a certain way. You
never told them that when you say a certain word a certain way, which means
that you want certain things to be done to you and vise versa a certain way. You
are entering into a battle without a sword now, and you are gambling on a victory
and now hoping for a win, instead of guarantying not a loss and a good fight,
based on your preparation. Any battle tested General knows that all battles and
wars are won before the fight, but you haven’t made it that far up the chain of
command, and you are still a Corporal, trying to lead this troop into foreign and
sacred land on the day of battle. You see what I am saying is that if I am on the
phone with someone and the conversation has gone to a sexual place and they
are in the mood and telling me about it, I want and need to know everything. I
wasn’t like that before because in some many ways, what they thought didn’t
matter; I was doing them a favor. That’s the lesson I learned and trying to convey
to you today.
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