Something Else, Like an UDO
By Anthony Douglas Gere
A many of you viewers have been asking me a very personal and intimate
question, and I so wish to answer it, but in all reality, don’t know if I can the way
you wish for me to. But what I will do is offer to you some words of truth from
my mind and heart, and attempt to glide through this theory with the grace of a
Ballerina with quarter size bunions on her feet, break dancing to Yanni’s
Greatest hits. Now I, as you know, am overly open about my life in the way I
often write about my experiences and thoughts in the aftermath of them. But
some things, I think you need to be within those moments, to really comment
on them accurately. The question I often get asked, is, "How do you heal a
broken heart, and where do you go, when it seems as though you have been
everywhere, and find your self back, where you started when its over and done
with?" That’s a hard one to take on and answer, and seeing how I am not in
that place of turmoil or confusion right now in my life, I can say that I do relate
to it on many levels, and dealt with each situation the same, in looking back
upon them. So hold on my friends, we are about to enter into the terradome on
this one, and yes, I am in the mood to go there. CJ is sleep, I am running on
about two hours of sleep, Boo Boo Kitty is chillin’ with one of my shoes, and
yeah, I am beyond comatose and delirious, I am simply, in this moment. So
buckle up and take notes along the way, and witness something special, as I
attempt to go pass your definition. So in bringing up this topic again, I think it
should be warranted that I cover it from many different angles, don’t you
agree? The reason I ask is because you know what I have found, is that it was
not only when I broke up or got broken up with that took me to Mary J. Land,
there were other times and I didn’t even know it. What I found in looking back,
is when my heart was really hurting, was when I sometimes didn’t know how to
identify what pain was or is. I found it many times, while I was going through
the very thing I was trying not to go through or become, something or should I
say my actions, really steered me down this beautiful curvy road in the dark
without using my brakes and my head lights off. In looking back, it is
sometimes even worse in my opinion, when you are still in that moment and
can’t find a way out, and what seems like, a person sitting in their seat at the
theater, watching a movie. You can’t even back track, because the knowledge
you have gathered now, is that lesson you needed to learn in the first place,
which is why you went through that proverbial door or down that steep road, in
second, third and so on, place. But man, hindsight is 20/20, and we all can be
arm chair quarterbacks, after the game is over. But hey, that’s the
responsibility and gamble we all take, on falling in love, there is no guarantee
and in finding the one, odds greatly against you. I mean if we only knew the
things we could have done when we did or did not do them to make the
moment not even happen, we should and could be odds makers in Sin or
Atlantic City. But once again, hindsight, is 20/20 and I guess that is why they call
this thing call life, life, and we are constantly, suppose to live it and love what
we keep hate feeling like when it lies to us. But back to the topic on the table,
and I wish while writing this, I could use a virtual Lazy-Susan and spin it around
the room and recycle some thoughts from you that are reading this. This can
go so many ways in and on so many more levels, and to really say to someone,
"This means this or that means something else, like a UDO", is a job I don’t
think I am capable of taking, let alone applying for. That’s some shit, to actually
claim to be a professional at something that specifically relevant, and not
accurately do, 100% of the time, what you were trained and getting paid to do,
when called upon in that moment and situation. So if I even attempt to
comment on where I was at when I have had my hearted shattered into pieces
smaller than pieces you can’t even see, I wouldn’t know where to start. What
could I do or say, maybe try and explain the mood, moment and more when I
would sit in the corner of one of my many rooms in my house, turn off the
phones, look at a blank wall in the dark with my eyes watering like my main
valve has a leak, with a bottle of Blue Label, gasping and reaching for
something to hold on to with my fist balled up?
By Anthony Douglas Gere
A many of you viewers have been asking me a very personal and intimate
question, and I so wish to answer it, but in all reality, don’t know if I can the way
you wish for me to. But what I will do is offer to you some words of truth from
my mind and heart, and attempt to glide through this theory with the grace of a
Ballerina with quarter size bunions on her feet, break dancing to Yanni’s
Greatest hits. Now I, as you know, am overly open about my life in the way I
often write about my experiences and thoughts in the aftermath of them. But
some things, I think you need to be within those moments, to really comment
on them accurately. The question I often get asked, is, "How do you heal a
broken heart, and where do you go, when it seems as though you have been
everywhere, and find your self back, where you started when its over and done
with?" That’s a hard one to take on and answer, and seeing how I am not in
that place of turmoil or confusion right now in my life, I can say that I do relate
to it on many levels, and dealt with each situation the same, in looking back
upon them. So hold on my friends, we are about to enter into the terradome on
this one, and yes, I am in the mood to go there. CJ is sleep, I am running on
about two hours of sleep, Boo Boo Kitty is chillin’ with one of my shoes, and
yeah, I am beyond comatose and delirious, I am simply, in this moment. So
buckle up and take notes along the way, and witness something special, as I
attempt to go pass your definition. So in bringing up this topic again, I think it
should be warranted that I cover it from many different angles, don’t you
agree? The reason I ask is because you know what I have found, is that it was
not only when I broke up or got broken up with that took me to Mary J. Land,
there were other times and I didn’t even know it. What I found in looking back,
is when my heart was really hurting, was when I sometimes didn’t know how to
identify what pain was or is. I found it many times, while I was going through
the very thing I was trying not to go through or become, something or should I
say my actions, really steered me down this beautiful curvy road in the dark
without using my brakes and my head lights off. In looking back, it is
sometimes even worse in my opinion, when you are still in that moment and
can’t find a way out, and what seems like, a person sitting in their seat at the
theater, watching a movie. You can’t even back track, because the knowledge
you have gathered now, is that lesson you needed to learn in the first place,
which is why you went through that proverbial door or down that steep road, in
second, third and so on, place. But man, hindsight is 20/20, and we all can be
arm chair quarterbacks, after the game is over. But hey, that’s the
responsibility and gamble we all take, on falling in love, there is no guarantee
and in finding the one, odds greatly against you. I mean if we only knew the
things we could have done when we did or did not do them to make the
moment not even happen, we should and could be odds makers in Sin or
Atlantic City. But once again, hindsight, is 20/20 and I guess that is why they call
this thing call life, life, and we are constantly, suppose to live it and love what
we keep hate feeling like when it lies to us. But back to the topic on the table,
and I wish while writing this, I could use a virtual Lazy-Susan and spin it around
the room and recycle some thoughts from you that are reading this. This can
go so many ways in and on so many more levels, and to really say to someone,
"This means this or that means something else, like a UDO", is a job I don’t
think I am capable of taking, let alone applying for. That’s some shit, to actually
claim to be a professional at something that specifically relevant, and not
accurately do, 100% of the time, what you were trained and getting paid to do,
when called upon in that moment and situation. So if I even attempt to
comment on where I was at when I have had my hearted shattered into pieces
smaller than pieces you can’t even see, I wouldn’t know where to start. What
could I do or say, maybe try and explain the mood, moment and more when I
would sit in the corner of one of my many rooms in my house, turn off the
phones, look at a blank wall in the dark with my eyes watering like my main
valve has a leak, with a bottle of Blue Label, gasping and reaching for
something to hold on to with my fist balled up?
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